All the bullshit Ive been through has made me who I am today and with some exceptions I am proud of myself. I am lazy and I lost my motivation somewhere in the past, but I am proud of myself that I never did something so bad to be ashamed of..something that will not allow myself to look in the mirror..I know I'm not perfect, even if I am trying sometimes, but perfection is how others see everything, I can be perfect just for those who love me, no matter how much i am trying, so...why waste so much time and energy to please ppl that I have nothing in common with?!
I am proud that I am a fighter, even though sometimes I knew I am playing my last card, that I have no escape and I cannot see the light. I had so many roles, I was in so many different ways that now when I look back I can barely recognise the person I am now. Probably now its another me ...that in some years will change again.Like every other human being, I lead my life after some rules, made by me, sometimes by others or by society. I have few principles that change with me and some others that probably will never change and those ones really matter because they made me who I am today.
I'm not honest with myself... I really like sometimes to lie to me nicely and pretend I am somehow different.. I hate my weaknesses and the fact that I cannot say everything I think. I imagine sometimes I say with loud voice whats inside my head and then I realise if others will act the same with me, probably I wont be happy either.. so the one that is less perfect should throw the stone first...or say the first word.
People like to be judge and jury but they don't like to defend themselves, the part when u look inside your soul and u see how blind u are.
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