End of the line. Sooner and worse that I ever imagined. From denial to acceptance, nightmares when you're awake...its finally happening; you l've searched for the truth without being prepared to handle it. Facing your own fears come true. Empty promises.
I liked to lie to myself.. that wasnt my path, my life. All I love is all that I allow. My wakeup call vanished my dream. Im cold and alone and awake and everything around me looks so grey. Magic is gone. Who does this.. isnt life already hard without family, stability, love? Who pretends to be your soul mate and stabs when you open your heart? Its all my fault for not leaving the first time when I felt this isnt my love story.
Im not playing this game anymore.. everyting I loved was a lie, everything I knew was all a lie. I put my life on hold waiting for lies. Promises that that waited for so long that they starved. And now... not even "I ve made mistakes" not even acknowledging that I am hurt. Hands in his pockets, raising his voice like its my fault for wanting to know the truth....blinking too much like a guilty kid.
Some stories are just our imagination. I dont know if Im lucky for having this lesson, cause definitely made me a less trusting person. We want to see the real truth but we are never prepared to face the reality. God wanted me to see the real him.. like telling me "kiddo, stop waiting and wasting your life and start living". I know there is more out there...there must be much more to see and live. All Im asking is to have strenght to get up and walk away from this swamp and rise.
And he ll never know the price of his loss, the real me. I will let him have what he really wanted. The reason why all this happened. I will be a better person and I wont hold any grudge or wish for revenge, but always what comes around always goes back around, giving you exaclty what you ve done.
I owe this to myself.. the girl who cried alone in darkness... so many wasted tears and edless pain. I wish I could just close my eyes and go back in time and erase the day we met. I need to stay strong for the little girl inside me that still believes in fairytales and keep searching for mine. He can never be my hero again.
CONVERSATION