Soft wind and creamy moon, high heels in night, caramel, fantasy or pure madness, black & white, drunken words left unspoken.. daydreams that become reality when the night begins, the scent of the sea that makes me forget everything ive learned until now about love, everyday I wake up with u in my mind, u filled my heart with unknown feelings that took control of my thoughts and all I can feel is the touch that makes me want more.. and makes me want to abandon this reality and live in our world, the place where we feel free to dream, where everything we do is just perfect because hell melts with heaven and everything is allowed and i see the stars in afterglow and I know u re the one that will always shine for me..
Addicted to u, which is my pain? Powerful drugs for my soul, toxic relationship. A look into my past, surgery on my open heart when I was missing to have a real family, surrounded by love, missing parts from childhood..the moments I was ignored and I felt the world for me is closing.; a drama that is asking for an answer, looking for what is missing in other places than my inner soul..till when this search for love, appreciation, tenderness, attention..What should I do to see me? Should I jump, should I yell, should I cry..to get your attention, to kiss me, to tell me good night ..I feel saving u I cure myself, I put my only wish to live in your hands..and u throw me away so easy.. The mistake is mine, but the ego is yours...
One day, you will realize that there are some people you will never see again...at least, not in the same way. That person is you to me and that person is me to you. I can live for a million years but never would I find someone like you. But maybe there's good in not finding another one like you...
The feeling that giving my love to u, will feel my thirst of love and save me is so wrong…saving me is starting to love myself ..the fear of losing u comes with the fear of my past, when I lost too many things..including myself sometimes..I direct the movie of my life, I should forget everything I have learned about love, the pain from past with this pain u give to me when I ask for patience and love..I should let my heart choose the right man..not the man dressed in love..where is me in this frame..? I offer u my hand, my heart, my love and I receive nothing in exchange..or almost nothing cause I am too busy to notice this because my attention is to admire u..to admire a man that knows to make me cry, to make me step on everything I believed in because I love..After your love I crave?..I should make peace with my past, forgive and forget..i should stop wanting u…and put a value on myself, look into my soul and start to love me for who I am.., look around me and see what makes me happy..definitely not u lately..i cant continue with the same scenario..i have to invent happiness for me, a game that will keep my mind busy from missing you..your love will never fill the emptiness of my soul..cause u seem to be too ignorant to care about someone else.. a new way of thinking on the love scene..
I was always afraid of the word 'forever' cause forever seems to be so long time, forever is all our life..cant make commitments for a lifetime when i have no idea what ill wear tomorrow..I never was so responsible to take my words seriously, I always had an escape, a place to run and hide and let everything important behind..for other times when I ll grow up.
Maybe I heard forever too many times, Ive believed it and made dreams around it.. and so forever became never..cause those dreams were just a sweet moment illusion. Now I know what I want and what will make me happy forever..and I want this feeling to give meaning to every day of the rest of my life...
Life is a good trainer, if u know to learn from everything and see failures as wise winnings and u dont let emotional feelings to take control of u..after a while u can make ur own happiness from the things that really matter for u..and dont let anything else to ruin what u believe in..even u dont live after the normality of others..what makes u happy is just for u..noone should understand what is hidden behind ur simle.. But to get there and to be able to make it last..u should know one thing..when we r in love..we care about everything, we analyse and take all very personal..the key is indifference, dont care about all..care about the feelings only, if exist will make u go on, nothing else matters.. Sometimes is hard not to let our fears take control, we feel weak, alone, scared..but if we look better.. LOVE is still there.. but we can make it vanish when we dont know what really matters..and then blame the other one for our own mistakes.. So care only about the only thing that brought u there and makes u stay...the rest really doesnt matter..
0 comentarii:
Post a Comment