Sometimes I think I deserve all this, it's a way of existing lately. And its my punishment for wanting, no matter what, to be happy. And I accept this awful 'reward' everyday. Maybe I deserve better. maybe I can do better, to be smth memorable, to be myself... at my best.
Its like waiting for the bus for 20 minute and then you wait 5 more, and other 5 more, and then another 5 because you are already there and the bus will come eventually. And then when you wake up you realise you are there for more than one hour. But you keep waiting cause you know its close....and you could be home in bed by now, walking is not a choice, you are even more tired... So its better to wait more to take you home... Sometimes its better to run no matter how much you waited, no matter how much time and things you lost or how many feelings you invested. Just run...
Take a risk cause if you dont take it someone else will chose for you.. Be brave and accept to be defeated, accept to lose hundred of times in order to win one time.. But that one time will be amazing, And you will understand why you had to struggle for so many times.
Im still there. Where Im not decided yet if I should start walking or wait a little bit more. Deep in my soul I know I am lost... both ways dont take me home.. Its already a lost game.
CONVERSATION